This is the home of anything or anyone that pisses us off. Thus making them "pants" Expect this page to get significantly bigger every week. Especially when I go back to college. Pants.

British Telecom for charging to use the telephone. What's that all about?

Sweat for making your arm pits and your clothes smell bad.

Customs for sticking their hands up your arse and nicking your favourate pictures.

AOL for kicking me off every half an hour which is really beginning to piss me off a little.

Nicky Cambell. What a tosser.

Wasps. For stinging me on the foot when I was 7. Pants.

Cops who wear white socks.

Twinned Towns. What's the point of having your town twinned with Smergakastergrin in Norway (or some other place that sounds like a fart in the bath) if you can't even check the resembalence??

Dick Heads in cars who open their car doors when you're about half a foot away from the door on your bike, doing 25mph.

Raindrops for falling on our heads

Grim Reapers for taking Red Rum the horse, and loads of other cool people away from us. Pants.

David Beckham for nobbing Posh Spice everynight, wearing too much Bryil Cream, playing for M*nch*st*r Un*t*d. Oh yeah, and what else was it, didn't he get sent off recently, I can't quite remember…

Getting fat because you drink lots of beer and eat 5 pizzas a day.

Germans.

World Cup referee's for being so shite that it hurts.

Tricky, for having a really annoying croaky voice that always makes you want to clear you throat when you here him talk. Get it sorted matey.

Big Ron for beeing too fat and wearing too much jewelary.

Kevin Keegan for cursing England.

Grass for growing when you just cut it 3 months ago.

Legionnaires desease for killing that bloke from Blackpool and making loads of people poorly. Pants mate.

Uri Gellor for pretending to support England and taking credit when they win, just because he bends bloody spoons. Sort it out matey.

Callum Woolner for nicking my watch last year. I'm gonna find you, you twat.

Chris Evens for milking TFI Friday for all it's worth, thus ensuring that it's well past it's sell-by date. Sky Sports Centre makes healthy alternative viewing.